Unreasonable
by Steph-Schell
Summary: SPOILERS for Pavor Nocturnus. What might have led John to his actions in Pavor Nocturnus?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I have embellished and added a few details but other than that I remain true to what we are told. There might be some OOC-ness but keep in mind they are in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

**Summary: **A look into John Druitt's last two weeks of life.

* * *

John Druitt had faced many things in his life but there were some things that even he had never counted on. He had not counted on what the Source Blood injections would do to him. He had not counted on being shocked into sanity by his once sworn enemy. He had not counted on out living his daughter, once he learned about her that is. He had not even counted on having a daughter in all honesty. More recently, he had not counted on being present at the end of the world. And he had most certainly not even imagined rekindling his love with Helen. Had hoped for it, yes. Had dreamed of it, of course. Had prayed for it, most assuredly. But he had not dared believe it would ever actually happen.

He did not enjoy the chaos and destruction that had led to their new romance but as he knew too well, one could not always dictate circumstances. The two of them had realized that with the world dying around them there was no time to hold on old grudges and scars. There was too little time and too much to be done.

Certainly Ashley's death had started the processed but it was the death of Nikola, ironically, that had fully brought them to one another. The wily vampire had gone down in a mob fight, not even his incredible powers being enough to stop the thousands that had attacked. When they realized that even the hardest to kill of them could still be brought down they knew that truly time was running out.

He had come back to the Sanctuary two weeks after Nikola's death to help where he could. Mostly by fighting and taking Helen to where she could do the most good. Though that was really a relative term these days. It was an exhausting lifestyle but it kept them from thinking too hard about the insanity of it all.

They had been forced to pull up roots and abandon the Sanctuary eventually. That night John had held his love while she grieved for her life's work and the dear friends that had refused evacuation. It had also been the first time they'd made love in over a century. Their shared grief and pain over all that had happened finally broke free. They had sought comfort in each other's arms once again. Three months later, Helen had informed him she was pregnant. John couldn't believe he could be so happy in the midst of such tragedy. She need to go to Argentina to help out but they would tell the news when she got back. Which was what led him to this point.

John had been dealing with a new out break in England for the past thirty six hours. Out of a city of 50,000, he'd found three uninfected. He dropped them off with those that were in charge of dealing with new arrivals while he went in search of food. Their little resistance band was currently inhabiting an old warehouse building and the alley outside of it. Kate and Declan were huddled around a makeshift fire in one corner. "Morning," Declan greeted.

"Is it?" John asked. "It's hard to tell these days."

"My watch says its morning," the other man informed him. He looked at John's haggard face. "There's not much food but it's over there." John gave him a stiff nod.

Declan was right. The thin gruel that was being served could not really be called food by any definition. Still John had found that when you were hungry enough you could eat anything. He took his bowl and rejoined the group. As he was about to sit down he reached into the folds of his jacket. "I managed to find a single orchard still hold fruit," he said. He handed the ripe apple to Kate. "That one needs all he can get," he added nodding to her rounded stomach.

"Thanks," she said with a quiet smile. She bit into the apple and a look of pure bliss came over her face.

John offered a second apple to Declan who shook his head. "No mate, you take it," he decided.

"There's a third," John told him. Declan shrugged and took the apple.

They heard footsteps and looked up to see Will approaching. "John," he greeted with a smiled. "Didn't see you get in."

"Just arrived," John stated. He tossed the final apple to Will. "Gifts from the Empire," he said. The boy caught it easily with one hand. It never failed to amaze John the ease with which Will had learned to adapt to life. Not long after the infection had gone wide scale the boy had been wounded in the fighting. Shrapnel had hit his right eye, effectively blinding him. Still it didn't slow him down one bit.

Will reached into his boot and came up with a knife. A few quick movements had the apple neatly sliced in half. "Friends shouldn't let friends go hungry in these times," he said as he handed John one half. John took it with a grateful nod. Will settled in next to Kate with a thin smile. "How are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"We're alright," she told him. "He kicked today." Will beamed like a proud father. John wished he knew what that felt like. He had been proud of Ashley, certainly. When she had gone up against him, continuing to fight no matter how futile the battle; when she had helped save her mother, even when she had given her life for theirs. But these were dim and distant feelings, those of an outsider that had no real place in the unit. It had been a long regret for him that he had not been there during Ashley's life to be a real father to her. Still, Helen was pregnant once again. This time he would be there for his child and keep him or her from harm as he hadn't been able to do with Ashley.

The two parents talked quietly while John observed them. They were not in love, not in the way that he and Helen were. They certainly loved each other dearly but it was not the true love of soul mates. Anyone with eyes could see that. Kate had been deeply in love with Henry and he with her. Unfortunately he had been killed about two years before the Sanctuary had been abandoned. For a long time the once freelance agent had been inconsolable. William, on the other hand was still in some ways grieving. Most certainly for Clara and quite possibly for Ashley though John had no proof of his suspicions. Grief had united the two lovers and created a child. John could not fault them for looking for comfort where they could find it. They all needed something to stay sane in these troubled times.

He was disrupted from his thoughts as his video phone went off. He didn't know how this small band of resistance managed to keep their electronics working but he wouldn't argue. He did know that it had something to do with some thing Henry had hooked up before he died. The grainy image on the screen was that of his beloved. "Hello, John," she greeted.

"Dearest," he returned. "How is Argentina?"

Helen sighed as she looked around. "About the same every where else, I'm afraid," she stated. "I just can't believe one virus could do this much damage."

"Believe it," Will called. "This ain't no fairy tale we're living."

"Pass me off," Helen instructed. John leaned over and handed the video phone to Will. "You're butchering of the Queen's English aside," she frowned, "trust me when I say I understand better than most what is going on here."

Will raised a hand in a gesture of surrender. "I didn't mean anything Magnus."

Helen let out a sigh. "I know Will," she assured him. "I'm just very tired at this moment. Kate, how are the two of you feeling today?"

Kate rested a hand on her womb and leaned over to be seen. "We're both doing just fine," she smiled.

"Remember to take your vitamins," Helen told her.

"Yes ma'am," Kate agreed.

"My boy kicked today," Will added, biting into his apple half.

Helen chuckled. "Babies tend to do that," she smiled. "Congratulations again to you both." She noticed the half an apple in Will's hand. "William, where did you manage to find ripe fruit?"

"I didn't, John did."

The phone was passed back to Druitt. "I was in England and found an orchard still bearing some fruit," he explained. "I've even got some for you."

"How many apples did you find John?"

"Enough," he said vaguely. "But for you I brought back a treat."

"A treat?" she teased.

John reached into his coat once gain and watched her eyes light up at the bright fruit he pulled out. "An orange," he replied. "Your favorite, if I recall right."

Helen's soft smile warmed every inch of his lonely soul. "You do, love, you do," she agreed quietly. John thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen even caked in grime and run down from exhaustion. "You couldn't have picked both of them from the same orchard though," she pointed out.

"I might have made a special trip," John shrugged dismissively. "I saw no harm in it."

"You wouldn't," she said ruefully, shaking her head. John just smiled at her. She blushed slightly at the love in it.

"You'd best be home soon, darling," he told her. "This won't keep well with out proper refrigeration."

"I'm doing all I can," she sighed. "How was England?"

"The mighty empire has fallen just like everywhere else," he sighed. "I found three who appeared uninfected. The others are caring for them."

"We do what we can," Helen murmured. It had become their mantra lately.

"Are you alright?" he questioned.

"No worse than anyone else," she shrugged. She rested a hand on her still mostly flat stomach and gave him a secret smile. "Though I believe I'll fare better."

John felt a sudden ache to pull her into his arms and hold her as tight as he could. "No doubt of it," he agreed.

"How long before you come back?" Declan wondered, leaning over.

"Soon I should think," Helen told him. "There is little left to do here. Most have already succumbed to the virus. I'll need a few hours to tie things up and then I shall give you another call."

"See you soon," Will called.

"Stay safe," Kate added.

"Good luck," Declan said.

"Be careful, my angel," John told her.

"You as well, my dearest," she nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too." Helen snapped off her end. John continued to stare at the blank screen for a moment. Then with a sigh he handed it off to Kate. "I haven't sleep in a quite a while," he murmured, "I believe I shall try to rest some. Let me know when Helen calls."

"Done," Kate agreed.

John passed off his bowl to one of those in the food line as he passed. There were no beds to be had any more and he wouldn't have taken one even if there were. Kate and others like her needed them more. There was a bit of their camp sectioned off for sleeping. Most others were on the cold floor or ground; some had managed to fix up a little shelter for themselves. John pulled together some scraps of cardboard and ragged cloths good for nothing but junk. He tightened his trench coat around his body as he laid down on the card board.

As he rested his head on the cloth, he reached under his shirt. He pulled out the gold locket Helen had given to him back in Oxford. The one side still held her picture, beautiful as ever, the other now held a photo of Ashley. John felt both love and loss when he looked at it. He had taken to wearing the locket because things in pockets could be lost in battle. He wondered how his daughter would react to the news of a new sibling. No doubt she would have been overjoyed for her mother. He smiled as he realized Ashley probably would have cornered him and told him all the things she would do if he didn't take care of Helen. "I promise you, I will look after her," he whispered to the picture. "Your mother shall want for nothing so long as I breathe." He shut the locket and willed his tired body to rest.

John was not unused to tossing and turning through the night. Between the appalling conditions and the heady nightmares it was a wonder he managed to get any sleep at all. But this nightmare was different from the others. It was not the fact that Helen was in it because she was in many of them. But rather than being blonde and angry she was now brunette and scared. "John!" she screamed. "John, please help me!" He ran to reach her but was too slow. She let out another scream and was gone in a flash of bright light.

John shot up and gasped for breath. The dream had seemed so real it worried him. He rested a hand on his heart. Something was wrong. Helen had some sort of problem. She needed him in some way, he just knew it.

He hurriedly got up and began to search out Will and the others. He was pointed to the doors near the street where they had apparently been seen heading out. He nearly ran over but slowed as he came nearer. He could hear them talking in lowered voices, most likely about him. "Someone needs to tell him," Will said quietly.

"He needs rest," Declan argued. "The man hasn't slept in nearly two days."

"But this is important," Will pointed out. "Someone should say something."

"I'm not going in there," Kate objected.

"You're pregnant, he won't attack you," Declan stated.

John finally gathered his courage and walked out. "William," he called. "Has Helen called yet?"

Will couldn't meet his eyes. "No, not yet," he said quietly.

"Is she in trouble of some sort?" John demanded. "Where is she? What does she need?"

"She's not in trouble," Declan said. "Dr. Helen Magnus, as of 8:20 eastern time, is…is dead. I'm so sorry."

John felt a knife pierce his heart at the news. There had to be a mistake, they had to be lying. His reason for living could not be gone. For god's sake, she was pregnant! They were going to be a true family! This could not be right. In a flash the shock was replaced with rage. He grabbed Declan by the throat and threw him against the wall. "You're lying!" he yelled, squeezing tightly, "Tell me you're lying!"

"Druitt! Put him down !" Will yelled. John whipped around with rage in his eyes. He would take the boy down as well if he had to. "Put him down," Will repeated. His voice was quieter but no less hard.

John wanted to hold on to the rage. It was clear and pure. It let him think without pain. Sill as he looked at Will's eyes he could feel it slipping. The anger was slowly being replaced with deep sorrow. With a cry he threw Declan away from him. The pity and sorrow in all their eyes was too much. John had to get away. He was gone in a flash of light.

"Should we go after him?" Kate wondered.

"Nah, he'll be back," Will said quietly. He moved to help Declan to his feet. "You alright?"

"I will be," Declan assured him. He looked to the empty air where John had stood. "How do you know he'll be back? He's been known to go rogue before."

"And he might again," Will agreed, "but not before coming back one last time. He wants answers and he knows he can't get them anywhere else. Give him some time to come to grips with it. He'll be back."

John wandered the city for most of the day. He didn't want to go back to those looks of pity. He wanted Helen to be alive again. He wanted the world to not be going to shit. He wanted Ashley to be to sharing in their joy of new life. He wanted everything to just stop. He wanted to world to realize what treasures it had lost in the deaths of his love and their children.

He took himself to the Sanctuary and walked each floor. He remembered when it was clean and bright. His happy memories of this place were not many but he could feel Helen in every little detail. He ran his hand over the walls, ignoring the tangles of plants and dirt that lingered there. Helen would have been devastated to see her lovely home in such a state.

He started down in the SHU and proceeded to work his way up. As he walked the barren halls he could almost feel the ghosts of this place dogging his footsteps. He could so easily imagine Ashley running down the halls with Henry close on her heels as children would. He could see Helen smiling as she looked in on her residents before she went to bed at night. He imagined Will strolling the same path he took now, talking to Helen about some mystery. He couldn't bear to look in the library for the destruction he would surely see there. He continued walking all the way up to the top of the north tower where Helen would stand and contemplate the world around her. He stood for a few moments in the place where she had stood, looking over the city.

Though the pain was almost too much to bear, he forced himself to go where he dreaded most. He closed his eyes as he let the light take him. When he opened them again he was in Helen's study. For a moment he had prayed his powers would take him somewhere else despite the fact that he had honed on this spot. He ran his hand over the layers of dust that covered Helen's desk. It had been in this room that the two of them were reunited when John had come looking for her blood.

He remembered teleporting into the room, intent on getting what he wanted. For a single moment before the madness had taken hold he had looked at Helen. The world melted down to just the two of them once again. He hadn't time to tell her so because Jack had reared his ugly head and pushed the boundary between them once again. It was in this study that John had left her when their paths diverged yet again. Her path was to deal with Ashley's memory; his was to deal with Ashley's killer. And it was here that he had seen her again when he returned with news of Nikola's death. Each time he thought the memory of her lovely. Each time reality proved to be even more so. So much of their relationship had been tied up in this study. Almost every important moment they'd had, had occurred in this room.

John slowly let the memories take him as he reached under his shirt yet again. He pulled the golden locket from where it rested against his skin. He opened the locket once more and looked at the two pictures in it. The pair of blond women smiled back at him, neither one realizing what the future held when they had looked in the camera. The two faces were so similar it made his heart ache. The more he looked at Ashley, the more of himself he could see. And not just the monster he had become either. He could see ghosts of the man that had fathered her years ago.

As he snapped the locket shut, he felt the memories rush out of the room. For the first time he saw it as it really was. Dust covered and in shambles, looking like a worthless abandoned wreck rather than the study of the greatest woman in history. John felt the fury, pain, and sorrow well up in him all at once. With a howl, he fell to his knees. There, on the dirt covered floor of the study that held so much, John Druitt let himself cry for the first time since Jack had taken over.


	2. Chapter 2

Will was waiting for him when he finally returned, late in the night. He didn't seem at all surprised that John walked rather than teleported. John was surprised that the roof was inhabited at this time of night. "Feeling any better?" Will asked.

"Did you when Clara died?" John returned. He stood next to William and looked at the ruin the city had become.

"Not for a long time," Will sighed.

"Then perhaps it was not the brightest question to ask," John stated.

"Probably not," Will agreed.

They stayed silent for a while, never looking at each other. They continued to look out at their view. Each man had his own thoughts whirling through his head. However both of them centered on one thing. Helen Magnus. Finally John could bear the tension no longer. "How did it happen?" he asked quietly.

"Air Force dropped a daisy cutter on the village where she was. Most likely it was over before she knew it was going on. She didn't feel any pain."

John let out a short and bitter laugh. "Ashley didn't either but she is still dead, as is Helen. Neither one of them feels pain now."

Will couldn't deny the truth in that statement. "I just thought you might like to know that she didn't suffer."

"I do not find much comfort in the thought but there is some," John agreed. "My thanks for trying at least."

Will nodded and they lapsed into silence again. He knew something of what John was going through. Though he and Clara hadn't been together as long as John and Magnus, it had still hurt when she died. He could tell that John had more to say on the subject. He also knew that he couldn't rush the other man into speaking. He would come to it in his own time. "We were to have a child," John stated.

"I didn't know you two had time to plan for a family," Will said.

"We didn't plan," John clarified. "She simply informed me one day that she was pregnant."

"How far along was she?" Will asked.

"Three months," John sighed. "We were planning to let everyone know when she came back from Argentina." He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I made her promise that it would be the last mission she went on. After it was done we were going to move to the Arctic colony. We would raise our child together there. We had planned to be a proper family for once."

Will winced in sympathy. He'd had a hard time when Clara died. He couldn't imagine how it'd be if she had been pregnant at the same time. Probably the way he would feel if he lost Kate now. He didn't want to know what that felt like. "You know Kate and I are having a son," he began. John gave a short nod. "We're planning to name him Magnus, as a tribute." He glanced at the man beside him. "If that's alright by you of course."

"She would have been very pleased with it," John agreed.

"Good," Will nodded.

"Do not make the mistake I did, William," John said. "Do not let your son grow up without his father. The pain of being separated from your child is more excruciating than you will ever know. There will not be a day when you do not wonder about them. Whether they are happy, what memories they have created, if they miss you in some way. It is impossible to ever live as you once did."

Will stayed silent as he absorbed the information. Neither John nor Magnus had talked much about the past. They preferred to think about the future. What little future there was anyway. "You knew about Ashley?" he asked quietly.

"How do you think I managed to track her?" John pointed out. "I had watched her for a few days, not knowing that she came from the Sanctuary. I merely knew that the Abnormals in this area had a whisper about not messing with a young blonde girl and her dark haired mother. I watched her fight once. I knew at that moment she was my daughter."

"She was always good at that," Will nodded. "How did you get to the Sanctuary?"

"I got the information from a woman of the evening," John informed him. "I tried to go inside but of course the EM field stopped me. I saw Ashley head out on her bike and followed her through the city." He folded his arms over his chest. "I remember feeling such pride when I looked at her."

"Really?" The word slipped out before Will could stop it. He didn't want to remind John of the man he had once been. Especially with all that had happened to him recently.

Surprisingly John smiled at the commented. "Jack may have been in control," he admitted, "But I was still there that day. And I was struck by how much Ashley resembled both myself and her mother. I was even prouder when I saw the qualities that were unique to her alone. She was a remarkable young woman during the time I knew her, for all her lack of manners and propriety. I wish she had been allowed to reach her full potential"

"Death's a bitch," Will agreed. John let out a snort of laughter. "What will you do now?"

"Healing is practically out of the question," John sighed. "I've nothing left to heal for, no offense intended."

"None taken," Will assured him. "So if you don't heal then what?"

"I do not believe I can stay here," John told him. "It is no fault of yours, or anyone's really. It is simply that her spirit continues to linger here. I cannot be where there is so much of her. It is painful enough with the memories I alone carry."

"No need to explain," Will said. "I get it. But it still doesn't answer the question of what you're going to do."

"I believe I shall go somewhere, to think for a time," John decided. "I have much to think about after all." He caught the brief flash of worry on Will's face. "Do not trouble yourself William. Jack will not resurface. He is buried far too deep for that these days."

Will just shook his head and didn't comment. "You don't expect to live very long do you?" It came out as a question but both men knew it was really a statement.

"Not if I can help it, no," John answered anyway.

"Do you really think she would want that?" he asked quietly.

John made a strangled sound that Will couldn't identify. "Quite frankly, William, I couldn't care less what Helen _wants _at this moment. She is dead and with her my reason for continuing on all this time. I cannot do it with out her. I never could. It is why Jack was able to take over so thoroughly. Because I could not trust Helen enough to stand by me. I pushed her away and paid the price for it. I'll not do so a second time. I'll not go on while she dead. I cannot."

Will studied the broken man standing next to him. It was an unreasonable statement but then the entire world was unreasonable right now. There was clearly no way to talk Druitt out of his chosen course. "Alright, John," he agreed. "But at least stay the night here. We'll be moving out in the morning anyway."

"Are you sure?" Druitt whispered.

"Like you couldn't use the rest?' Will countered.

"That is true enough," John agreed. He finally turned to look at William fully. "I cannot imagine this is much easier on you," he said. "Helen always thought of you as the son she never got to have. She was always so proud of you and your accomplishments."

"I'm gonna miss her like crazy," Will sighed. "But then won't we all?"

"Some of us longer than others," John murmured.

Will turned to him. "Sorry…really doesn't even begin to cover it, does it?"

"It doesn't," John said. "But I believe the saying is 'it's the thought that counts'. And I understand the thoughts behind it."

"Not like thoughts do much either," Will pointed out.

"No they don't," John agreed. "But then what else do you have when tormented by grief?"

"Not a whole hell of a lot," Will sighed. He looked out at the city again. "Come on; let's get rest while we still can." John nodded and teleported them both back inside. The scraps he'd been using as a bed were taken by a pair of teens huddled together. As Will went to curl around Kate, John searched out a new place to sleep. He pulled his trench coat tight around him and huddled into a corner. It was not the most comfortable position to sleep in but he was too tired to care.

The next day he was awoken by a gentle hand on his arm. He opened bleary eyes to see Kate kneeling next to him. She gave him a shy smile. "Morning," she greeted. "We thought you might want some food before you disappeared on us."

John gave her a stiff smile and allowed her to help him to his feet. "Thank you," he said quietly. Kate slipped her hand in his as she led him over to where the food was. Neither one spoke while taking their food, nor while they were eating. John had too much weighing on his mind and Kate wasn't sure how to say what she wanted. Once the meal was over Kate took both bowls back to the food line. John dug into his coat again. The bright color of the ripe fruit nearly hurt his eyes. He looked at it for a moment until he heard Kate's footsteps coming back. "For the little one," he said, pressing it into her hands.

"They were Dr. Magnus' favorite," Kate recalled.

"They were," John agreed.

"That special trip you made," she started. John looked at her as she struggled with the words. "The only orange groves left are in Florida and that place is completely over run with pale faces."

"So it is," he nodded.

Kate stared at him. "You teleported yourself into the middle of one of the most infected areas on earth just to get your lover a piece of fruit?" she asked.

"She wanted it," he said in a far away voice. Kate watched his gaze go cloudy with the memories. "We were discussing our new child and she bemoaned the lack of good food these days. She was worried about getting the proper nutrients. I teased her about simply wanting something that had far too much sugar in it instead. She got a wistful look in her eye and told what she really missed was the taste of oranges. She wished she could be able to bite into one again." His look cleared and he turned back to her. "I was hoping to make her wish come true."

"I don't even know what to say," Kate admitted.

"There is nothing to say," John told her. "The facts are the facts."

Kate let out a shaky laugh as she ran a hand through her hair. "God, this world really sucks doesn't it?" she said. "Everything's just completely gone to shit and all because of some stupid virus."

"Fate has a way of playing with its creatures and usually in a most cruel manner," John stated.

"Bleak look on life," Kate opined.

"My reason for life has gone," he countered. "Why should I 'look on the bright side' as they say?"

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"It is not your fault," John sighed. He no longer had the words necessary to tell her that things would be alright. He wasn't sure he wanted to delude her in that way any longer. With another deep sigh he turned from her and began to walk out.

Kate reached out to rest a hand on his arm. John looked at her hand then back to her face. Their eyes locked for a moment. Then Kate leaned in for the hug. John was confused for a moment before he lifted his arms and hugged her back. Since returning to life at the Sanctuary, John had begun to see Kate as a sort of as surrogate daughter. She was not a fill in for Ashley nor a replacement. She was more like a younger sibling instead. "It's not fair," she muttered. "People like Magnus and Henry, they shouldn't be dead. It's the ones like you and me that should be six feet under. Not the ones that can do real good."

"Apparently destiny has other plans in store for the likes of us," John murmured. Kate let out a huff that was somewhere in between a laugh and a sob. John held her for a few more moments before pushing her to arms length. "Kate, I no longer have a reason to live," he stated. "That died with Helen. But you, you are to have a son soon." He looked deep into her eyes. "Protect that boy with your life for that is what he'll become. Do not let him know what it is like to not know his parents. I intend to die for Helen. You must learn to live for your son."

"I will," she promised.

"You and William will make wonderful parents," he assured her. "You just need to trust your instincts."

Kate studied him. She reached up to cup his cheek. "There's no way to talk you out of this is there?" she asked quietly.

John reached up and squeezed her hand. "No, there isn't," he agreed in the same tone. He sighed as he lifted her hand away. "I have lived far longer than any mortal has a right to," he said. "It is time for me to rejoin my family."

Kate smiled through her unshed tears. "Let a girl walk you out?" she asked.

"I would be honored," John nodded. He took her hand and tucked into the crook of his elbow. She leaned against him as they walked out together.

Will and Declan were waiting for them at the door. "Sure you want to do this mate?" Declan asked. "You could do more good here, with us."

"I have done all the good I can here, Declan," John told him. "It is time for me to look elsewhere." He slipped Kate's hand off his arm and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Remember what we spoke of," he said. She nodded as she went to stand by Will.

The other man held out a hand to him. "It was an honor to fight beside you," he said. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

John took his hand in a firm shake. "The honor was all mine," he assured Will. "Helen was always very proud. I should hope that you will continue to make her so."

"I'll do my best," Will agreed.

"That is all anyone can ask," John nodded. "Goodbye, William, Kate, Declan. And good luck my friends." With a bow, John disappeared from sight.

Kate curled into Will's arms as she looked at the spot where John had been. "I'm going to miss him," she sighed.

"Aren't we all?" Will said.

Declan looked between the pair of them. "You really don't think he'll back someday?" he asked.

Will snorted. "He's not going to be alive for very much longer," he informed the other man. "Not if he really does find what he's looking for."

Declan stared at him. "You mean you let a man with a suicide mission just walk out of here?" he demanded.

"Technically he teleported," Kate pointed out. Declan shot her a furious glare.

"It's what he wants," Will said. "I'm not taking that away from him."

"So you'll just let him kill himself? Declan asked. "That's what you call being a friend."

Will gave him a weary look. "He wouldn't do anyone any good still living," he explained. "He's like Magnus, tired out of living those he loves. Now he just needs to find his own way to end it." One of the others came out to tell them that the rest of the camp was ready to go. "Let's get moving," Will said. "Our work is with the living." Declan grumbled a bit but the three of them led the resistance band out of the warehouse to new shelter.

Kate looked at Will as they scouted ahead for the group. "John, he's not just going to stab himself in the heart and be done with it, is he?" she asked.

"Not a chance," Will told her. "From what I've know of John Druitt, he's a man that let's his actions speak for him. Especially when it involves love. If he's going out, he's going to do it in a big way. And he'll probably take a good deal of the pale faces with him if he can."

While they were speaking, John was in England at the top of the crumbling building that had once been known as Oxford. He could see no pale faces at this moment but there were plenty of destitute souls searching for somewhere to rest their weary bodies in safety for a moment. John wanted to scream at them. There was no safety any more. There was no peace, no hope, no joy. There was only fear and death. In the end he did as he had a century ago when he let Jack consume him. He closed his eyes and turned his back on humanity. When he opened them again, he was in a new location that he couldn't recognize. He pulled the locket from beneath his shirt. "Soon," he promised to the two women inside.

It took him nearly two weeks to find the remains of what had once been the mightiest military on the planet. The Air Force that had stolen his Helen was currently holed up in a mountain base in Colorado. John detested going to them but he had no other avenues. Getting was easy, convincing them of his intentions was a bit harder. Finally he got one of the older ones, clearly a long veteran from before the virus, to believe all that he said. John could see that the man recognized the utter lack of life in his eyes. He had probably seen it many times before in battle. John could almost see the same look in his eyes. No doubt he would soon take the course John was already on. The man took John to where they stored their weapons and showed him to what William liked to refer to as a tactical nuke. "This will do what you want," he said. "Providing you can get it to the right place."

John ran his hand over the smooth metal. "I will get it there, do not worry," he said in a low tone.

"And how will you get out?"

"That is none of your concern," John stated. He turned his gaze from the bomb to the man. "I need only three things from you. How do I detonate it, how do I call the vermin to me, and where is the most infected area in the United States?"

"The first two can be answered by our scientists," the man told him. "I'll have to search out the last bit for you."

"Then do so," John growled. The man left to get John what he wanted and he reached up to his locket. "Soon," he promised again.


	3. Chapter 3

John looked around the destitute area that had once been called Boston. It was a dismal sight but really, what wasn't these days? According to the information pulled for him this was where he would find the most vermin. It was perfect for his plans. They had told him that he would need someone newly infected to call up a good swarm of the pale faces to him. None of the soldiers had offered to find him someone but he didn't want or need their help. After teleporting the bomb to where he wanted it John had done his own hunting. Jack's skills could come in very handy when used properly.

He sighed as he looked up into the ashen sky. "So much to say and yet not nearly the words needed to say it," he murmured. He touched the hidden locket. "My Helen," he whispered. "You were my saving grace, had I only the brains and strength to reach out and take it. I am so sorry for the pain I caused you. I would take it all back in an instant if I could. You made me happier than anyone should have a right to be. And perhaps that is why fate pulled you from me. Because what we had was too perfect. If there can be such a thing."

He gripped the locket tighter as he thought of the daughter he had known for a few brief months. "My Ashley," he murmured. "You were so like your mother, myself and yet there were things that were a part of you and you alone. I am sorry I was not there to be a true father as you deserved. You grew up to be a young woman that any man would have been proud to call his daughter. I only wish we'd had more time together. Truly, I loved you in my own way. I hope that you are helping to look after your mother and younger sibling. They will need it." Having said his piece he looked back his new toy.

He set about arming the device. He had just five minutes to gather as many of the bastards as he could. That didn't bother him. Once they heard the screeching of the girl he had brought with him they would swarm. He had seen it a thousand times over. He pulled out the locket that was still hidden under his shirt. "Just five more minutes, my darlings," he whispered. He was not naïve enough to believe that he would really be united with them in death. Helen and Ashley were certainly in heaven, if there was one, and the likes of him would never be allowed in. He had made his peace with that. He would simply be happy to not have to face another day without them.

A groan from the other side of the weapon made John look up from his preparations. He carefully walked around to see the captive girl finally waking up. She turned to him with pleading in her eyes that were slowly being crowded out by the beast. "Please," she begged, "Kill me."

John crouched next to her with a cruel smile. "Oh, I promise you will die this night," he told her. "But not until you've served your purpose."

"Why are you keeping me?" she asked. "You're just going to bring them right to you." She let out a pained groan as John straightened.

"That, my girl, is exactly what I'm hoping to do," he told her. She gave him a confused look. "Never you mind," he said. "I simply need you to call them here. And the sooner the better preferably." She clamped her mouth shut and shook her head. John could tell that the thing inside her was dying to get out. John's look changed from kindness thinly veiling cruelty to scowl that had once had grown men shaking. "If you will not do as I ask willingly then perhaps some encouragement is in order," he growled. Then he viciously backhanded her with his fist.

The girl threw her head back and let out a shriek unlike anything John had ever heard. He watched, mesmerized, as a protrusion came out of her mouth to stick straight in the air. Clearly this is what would call them. It took nearly a full minute before the girl could regain control. "Oh god, what have you done," she whimpered. "They'll come by the thousands."

"Indeed I hope so," he said, his voice laced with dark amusement. Sure enough, he could hear them coming very quickly. He moved around to the other side. Just under three minutes. A good thing for him that the beasts didn't have brains any longer and therefore wouldn't bother trying to disarm his toy. Still he wanted to ensure he took as many as possible, even with the bomb's far reaching consequences. He moved back to where the girl was tied. "Not bad for a start my dear, but I need a little more from you," he said. He raised a hand to strike her again but she did it on her own this time. "Very good," he said approvingly. "You learn quickly."

"You'll kill us both," she whispered. John could now see some of the slier among them scurrying about.

"Have you not been paying attention?' he asked. "That has been my plan all along." She let a few tears fall. "Don't cry now my dear, you'll have a quick death I promise. Think of it as a thank you for helping me." He left her alternately weeping and shrieking as he teleported to the other side. In moment that it had taken him to move, they were surrounded by vermin. John smiled as he looked at the timer nearly reaching zero. "Into death's sweet embrace my love," he whispered, "If only it were the comfort of your arms." He closed his eyes as the world around them was taken in a bright light.

Will was just coming back from a raid for more food when he heard the sound of Kate weeping. He handed off his supplies to one of his deputies and hurried to where she crouched in a corner with Declan holding her. He looked pretty sorrowful as well but he was trying to keep strong for Kate. "Hey, what's with the waterworks?" Will asked softy.

Kate looked up at him. "He's dead," she wailed, launching herself at him. Will took her into his arms and held her tight. He murmured a few comforting words before looking to Declan with a bemused look.

"John," he explained. "We picked up two new survivors today. One was from the military that described Druitt to a tee. Kate asked him what he knew. The boy said that John had come by looking for something that would take down not only him but a good deal of the pale faces as well. They gave him a tactical nuke." Will let out a low whistle. "That was my reaction," Declan nodded. "The other survivor was from the east. Talked about heading through Boston at one point. Most of it was just plain gone. The military boy confirmed the story. He over heard a conversation between John and one of the older veterans. They had sent John to Boston."

"So John Druitt is dead," Will murmured.

"He found what he was looking for," Declan agreed.

Will nodded. He felt a few of his own tears slip out. He may not have always liked the man but he did come through when they needed it. Will looked at Declan. "I'll take care of her," he said. "Go help out with the food." Declan nodded and moved off. Will continued to hold her until the tears began to dry up. He moved so he could look her in the eye. "You better?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sniffed. "It's just, we got real close those last few months. He was like the father I didn't get to have. And he was always looking out for all of us."

"He was a good guy," Will agreed.

"I can't believe he's gone."

"I still can't believe Magnus is gone," Will told her. "But John wouldn't want you to cry for him. He and Magnus are together now which is what they both want. So no more tears, okay?"

Kate rested her head against his shoulder and nodded. She put a hand on her stomach as a thought struck her. "Will?" she called.

"What is it?"

"We're going to name our boy Magnus, right?"

"If you're still up for it," he agreed.

"Could his middle name be John?"

Will smiled into her hair. "I think that would be a perfect name," he told her. Kate smiled and snuggled closer so she could rest. As Will held her close he said a prayer to whatever gods were listening that John and Magnus really were together again.

When John opened his eyes once again, he was met by a very unexpected sight. Actually the fact that he opened his eyes at all was unexpected. He wondered for a moment if the bomb had failed to work in some way but dismissed the possibility. The sky he was currently staring into was a bright blue with just a few clouds drifting lazily in the breeze. Not to mention the bright sunlight filtering through the clouds. And rather than being on hard rock and debris, he was laying on what appeared to be grass. He looked to the side and confirmed that he was indeed lying on his back on the grass. "Do you plan to lie there all day or are you going to get up?" voice demanded. It was followed by a sharp pain in his side.

John rolled his head to the other side. A figure was standing over him but their face was blocked by the sun. However he could now identify the object poking him as a cane. Add to that the familiar British voice and he could only conjure up one name. "Gregory Magnus?" he asked.

"And perhaps you were expecting the Queen herself?" Gregory wondered. "Come along, boy, we haven't all day. The tea is growing cold as we speak."

John struggled into a sitting position where he received another surprise. He was no longer in the black outfit he had been in when he had died. Instead he was in brown. He ran his hands up his front to reveal that he was clad in his brown suit from his Oxford days. He continued moving his hands upward to the top of his head. The illusion was complete; he had his long brown hair back as well. "In the name of god," he breathed.

Gregory chuckled. "Something like that," he agreed. "Now don't just lie there like a schoolgirl on holiday. The others are waiting for you to start and it wouldn't be proper to leave them hanging on."

He turned to the older man. "What is going on?" he asked. "Where are we?"

Gregory rolled his eyes. "So full of question," he sighed, exasperated. "It's why you and my daughter worked so well together. You both wanted answers and you weren't satisfied until you had them."

"You must admit for one in my position this is a very confusing circumstance," John pointed out.

"No doubt," Gregory agreed. "Now up with you as I said. We haven't the time to sit around all day. We need to get a move on."

John stumbled to his feet and brushed himself off. As he straightened he felt something thump against his chest. He reached through his many layers to pull out the golden locket. It had apparently not disappeared with the rest of his former dress. He opened it to find both pictures still inside, smiling. "You could at least tell me where we are," he pointed out.

Gregory gave another roll of his eyes. "Look around you boy," he snapped. "And use the brain god gave you for once. What does this place look like to you?"

John did as he was asked. "It looks like…Hyde Park," he said. He turned back to Gregory. "But that is impossible."

"Quite true," Gregory nodded. He leaned on his cane. "Hyde Park was destroyed quite awhile ago if I'm not mistaken. But then if it can't be Hyde Park, where is it?"

"Could this possibly be…?" John breathed.

"It is," Gregory smiled.

"But I can not be here," John stated.

"And yet you are," Gregory pointed out. John just shook his head. He couldn't come up with a logical argument for all this. "Are you coming or aren't you?" Gregory asked.

"I…am coming," John said.

Gregory smiled and they began to walk. As they continued on, John could hear male voices speaking to each other. He couldn't make them out too well but they became clearer as they walked. They passed through some brush to see three males talking. One of them, with well groomed black hair, turned to look at them. "It appears the last member of group finally arrived," he greeted. "Nikola, you've just lost our wager."

"Nigel?" John asked. All three turned to him. They were dressed as they had been when they died, only more polished. John was quite confused.

"Greetings, old boy," Griffin smiled.

"Damn," Nikola scowled, "I can't believe it took you so long. I thought you were all about the romantic gestures and all."

"Be fair, Nikola," John said. "It took two weeks to find the military."

"See?" Nikola asked Nigel, "He was planning from day one. That means I should win."

"You didn't stipulate that in the wager," the third man, James Watson, told him. "You only said it would take less than a week for him to arrive up here. It didn't, you lost. The two of you can settle up after tea." He reached for his pocket watch. "We're going to be late as it is. Let's get a move on."

The three of them fell in step with Gregory and John. "Nikola, I must ask how you ended up here," John said.

"Actually I must admit, I'm surprised as well," the vampire agreed. "But then if you can get in here why not me?"

Gregory looked between the two of them. "You'll both stop this instant," he warned. "I'll not have you ruining today."

The two murmured their agreement and they continued walking. John spoke with his old friends about trivial topics as they walked. Every so often the sound of girlish laughter would reach their ears. John inquired about it but none would give him an answer so he soon stopped asking. He got his answer as they reached a clearing. There was a set of wrought iron out door furniture resting here. On the ground next to it was his daughter playing with a small child. She was no longer in her black combat outfit. Now she was dressed in nice jeans and a white shirt. Her blonde hair was in double braids that hung down for the child to play with. She looked up as they came close with a grin. "Hey there!" she greeted with a laugh.

The other three nodded their hellos. "Good afternoon, Ashley," Gregory smiled.

"Ashley?" John whispered.

"The one and only," she agreed. She looked down at the baby. "Hey, Greg, can you say hi to daddy?" she asked him. Ashley took his arm and waved it in an imitation of hello. "That's it, say 'hi, daddy'," she giggled.

"Greg?" John asked, too stunned to think of anything else.

"Gregory William Druitt," Ashley confirmed as she played with him.

John was confused until the full name sunk in. Ashley was playing with her brother. His _son._ The son that Helen had been carrying when she had died. "He's wonderful," John murmured. "Like his sister." Ashley smiled at that.

"Mom was worried about what you might think," Ashley confided in him.

As though conjured by that phrase, Helen came around the corner with a full tea service. "Now stop spreading such rumors," she frowned at her oldest child. John looked at his love. He was rather pleased that she remained dark haired, even in this place. She was dressed in a long skirt of black and a blue top that matched her eyes perfectly. "It's lovely to see you again John," she smiled.

"You look wonderful," he told her.

Quick steps brought him close enough to pull her into his arms. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before drawing her as close as he could. "My darling," she murmured. "I've missed you so."

"How is this possible?" he asked quietly.

Helen pulled back to smile at him. "Does it really matter?"

John pulled her close again. "Not in the slightest." He titled her head up to give her a gentle kiss on the mouth. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she smiled. She held him for a moment before pushing away. "We can continue after tea," she decided. "Now I'll sit here, father you'll be on this side; James, if you'd go next to him; Nigel, you there; Nikola, you next to Nigel; Ashley you and your brother go there; John if you would take your place between Ashley and me. I'll pour the tea."

John smiled as they all gathered. He held out the chair for his daughter who smiled her thanks. He looked around the table as they settled in for tea and felt a smile start to form. For the first time in a long time, John Druitt truly felt at peace.

* * *

**A/N: **I had to give them a happy ending. I just love them so much.


End file.
